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Red Flags In Relationships

RedFlags Red flags in Relationships - do you know what to look out for?

Our self-defence strategies must take into account more than fighting, and address prevention and avoidance including abuse within relationships, this is true for all genders.

These are particularly relevant for women as we know that between 70-90% of violence against women is perpetrated by someone known to her.

Here are 4 red flags to look out for:

🚩1. Accelerates unnaturally

Example: Moving in together after only knowing each other a few weeks

🚩2. Cuts you off from Resources

Examples: Doesn't want you spending time with friends; wants to control the finances "I'll take care of you"

🚩3. Ignores boundaries

Examples: won't take no for an answer; doesn't consider your needs as important; doesn't respect your privacy

🚩4. Aggression/Violence

This may seem an obvious one, but it often escalates from smaller things: Violence towards inanimate objects (smashing doors, punching walls); aggressive speech and language towards you; grabs & holds are all behaviour that should ring alarm bells, as well as punching, kicking and clear violent acts towards you.


These are some examples of red flags, it's not an exhaustive list. A red flag isn't a definitive sign of abuse, but it is a warning that something may not be right within a relationship, that merits a closer look.

"When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags" - Bojack Horseman

In the excitement of a new relationship it can be hard to tell, but if you aren't sure, check in with your support network (family, friends) or seek professional advice:

National Domestic Abuse Helpline:

0808 2000 247

Women's Aid:


0800 027 1234

Respect Men's Helpline: https://mensadviceline.org.uk/

0808 801 0327

Galop LGBT+ Helpline: 0800 999 5428 help@galop.org.uk

Police Scotland: https://www.scotland.police.uk/advice-and-information/domestic-abuse/what-can-i-do-if-this-is-happening-to-me/

In an emergency, dial 999 for the Police

Source: 500Rising

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